Stop The Silence, Stop The Violence

Good afternoon fellow readers,

Complete topic shift, but these past few months I have been working in a class with a group of students advocating against domestic violence and abuse. We have been researching and talking about it to inform students and others throughout our community. We created websites, brochures, flyers, and posters, and hosted a donation drive to raise items for a local division of the national organization Young Women's Christian Association (YWCA). Throughout these last few months we were able to inform people about the dangers of domestic violence, how to spot signs, and how to stand up against it. 

Domestic violence is such a current issue not only nationally, but globally as well. There are so many stigmas about this issue and people are so uninformed about the real truth behind it. People tend to think that those who are the victims are weak and didn't do enough. They don't realize that men can also be the victims of this crime, let alone women be the abusers. There is the popular "shame and blame" of the victim and questioning their actions throughout the whole ordeal and make them seem at fault. People question why not stand up for themselves or why not leave if you know it's bad. There tends to be a lot of blame put on the victim for staying in that situation or not telling anyone about it... People tend to focus more on what they think the victim did wrong, rather than what was actually done to the victim. 

I think people can sometimes can forget how scary and dangerous domestic violence and abuse can be: There are many reasons for why it is hard for the victim to leave, let alone stand up against it. 

The abuser can threaten them, their family, or even friends as an attempt to keep them close. The abuser can use physical and verbal threats to make sure the victim doesn't leave. There is fear of more hurt or the risk of being killed if they try to leave. The victim may depend on them financially, and leaving would leave them economically unstable. There is a sense of attachment to the abuser and leaving them would leave them with a sense of loss and loneliness. Many of the victims are close their abuser and it is not easy to leave them. They think it is a temporary phase and that the stresses of life causes ups and downs. They also think they can change and become better people. But the most important of all I think is that victims don't feel as if they can seek help. The justice system and enforcement can be seen as negative and victims can feel as if their situation won't be taken as seriously. 

I think people can sometimes also forget that domestic violence is all about power. Once you become involved with someone, whether in a romantic or not, things can change quickly. You begin to trust someone and become vulnerable. You open up to someone and you grow closer together... This is a big way that the abuser manipulates to control you into doing as they say and staying with them. They use your trust against you, blaming you for things, while telling you they care about you. They shame you and make you feel worthless, only to temporarily bring you up again. They tell you that you can never do anything right and begin to treat you like an object and less like a person. They uses everything they can against you to bog you down and gain control over you, what you think, how you act, who you are around... Basically how you live. It is scary because many victims aren't able to see the rapid change going on around them, and once they do, they are already deep into it.

Blind, but not stupid is what we could call it. Many victims are caught up in the "I want to be happy and think it will happen, I just need time." Many people can be so unaware of the signs of a change in relationship. Once it starts happening, they may be unaware of the cycle that is occurring, and by the time they realize it... it could be too late. It can be a dangerous and deadly cycle to be in, so this is why it is so important to speak up now.

Too many people women, men, and children are killed by domestic violence or abuse. This is such a big issue that has plague the globe for so many years. So many people are uninformed about the warning signs, let alone understanding why the victim lives the way they do when this occurs. Understanding these things can help us be better prepared to handle it. It can help us understand how to support victims so that they do not have to feel alone. It can help us understand what is the right information we can use to inform others. 

Domestic violence and abuse is NEVER ok. There is no reason why anyone should ever lay their hands on someone. Stand up and speak up for those who don't have a voice. Stand up and speak up against those who feel it is ok to hurt others. Stand up and speak up because this could be someone you know or love. You may think it will never happen to you, but you may never know until it is already happening.

So stand up and speak up today!

Below are following numbers you can call for help and support: 

In the US:National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)

UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247.

Australia: call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.

Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines, shelters, and crisis centers.

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-abused-and-battered-women.htm 

Picture 1: http://greenhaven4help.com/?page_id=113 
Picture 2: http://annarborcounselingservices.com/services/anger-management/domestic-violence-counseling/