Stop The Silence, Stop The Violence

Good afternoon fellow readers,

Complete topic shift, but these past few months I have been working in a class with a group of students advocating against domestic violence and abuse. We have been researching and talking about it to inform students and others throughout our community. We created websites, brochures, flyers, and posters, and hosted a donation drive to raise items for a local division of the national organization Young Women's Christian Association (YWCA). Throughout these last few months we were able to inform people about the dangers of domestic violence, how to spot signs, and how to stand up against it. 

Domestic violence is such a current issue not only nationally, but globally as well. There are so many stigmas about this issue and people are so uninformed about the real truth behind it. People tend to think that those who are the victims are weak and didn't do enough. They don't realize that men can also be the victims of this crime, let alone women be the abusers. There is the popular "shame and blame" of the victim and questioning their actions throughout the whole ordeal and make them seem at fault. People question why not stand up for themselves or why not leave if you know it's bad. There tends to be a lot of blame put on the victim for staying in that situation or not telling anyone about it... People tend to focus more on what they think the victim did wrong, rather than what was actually done to the victim. 

I think people can sometimes can forget how scary and dangerous domestic violence and abuse can be: There are many reasons for why it is hard for the victim to leave, let alone stand up against it. 

The abuser can threaten them, their family, or even friends as an attempt to keep them close. The abuser can use physical and verbal threats to make sure the victim doesn't leave. There is fear of more hurt or the risk of being killed if they try to leave. The victim may depend on them financially, and leaving would leave them economically unstable. There is a sense of attachment to the abuser and leaving them would leave them with a sense of loss and loneliness. Many of the victims are close their abuser and it is not easy to leave them. They think it is a temporary phase and that the stresses of life causes ups and downs. They also think they can change and become better people. But the most important of all I think is that victims don't feel as if they can seek help. The justice system and enforcement can be seen as negative and victims can feel as if their situation won't be taken as seriously. 

I think people can sometimes also forget that domestic violence is all about power. Once you become involved with someone, whether in a romantic or not, things can change quickly. You begin to trust someone and become vulnerable. You open up to someone and you grow closer together... This is a big way that the abuser manipulates to control you into doing as they say and staying with them. They use your trust against you, blaming you for things, while telling you they care about you. They shame you and make you feel worthless, only to temporarily bring you up again. They tell you that you can never do anything right and begin to treat you like an object and less like a person. They uses everything they can against you to bog you down and gain control over you, what you think, how you act, who you are around... Basically how you live. It is scary because many victims aren't able to see the rapid change going on around them, and once they do, they are already deep into it.

Blind, but not stupid is what we could call it. Many victims are caught up in the "I want to be happy and think it will happen, I just need time." Many people can be so unaware of the signs of a change in relationship. Once it starts happening, they may be unaware of the cycle that is occurring, and by the time they realize it... it could be too late. It can be a dangerous and deadly cycle to be in, so this is why it is so important to speak up now.

Too many people women, men, and children are killed by domestic violence or abuse. This is such a big issue that has plague the globe for so many years. So many people are uninformed about the warning signs, let alone understanding why the victim lives the way they do when this occurs. Understanding these things can help us be better prepared to handle it. It can help us understand how to support victims so that they do not have to feel alone. It can help us understand what is the right information we can use to inform others. 

Domestic violence and abuse is NEVER ok. There is no reason why anyone should ever lay their hands on someone. Stand up and speak up for those who don't have a voice. Stand up and speak up against those who feel it is ok to hurt others. Stand up and speak up because this could be someone you know or love. You may think it will never happen to you, but you may never know until it is already happening.

So stand up and speak up today!

Below are following numbers you can call for help and support: 

In the US:National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)

UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247.

Australia: call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.

Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines, shelters, and crisis centers.

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-abused-and-battered-women.htm 

Picture 1: http://greenhaven4help.com/?page_id=113 
Picture 2: http://annarborcounselingservices.com/services/anger-management/domestic-violence-counseling/

Looking In The Mirror (Pt. 2)

So within the last few weeks I had been spiraling into a low point in my life, up until the point where I didn't even want to look in the mirror. I didn't understand why I was upset, had little patience, or wanted to seclude myself from everyone. I didn't care to understand and didn't want any help. I wanted to be upset and quiet for a while until I could figure out how to get out of it on my own.

It wasn't until this past week when my good friend called me out on why I had been basically "hiding" from people. After a long talk for over 2 hours, we finally narrowed it down to why everything started and how it continued to get worse; I had been believing the lies Satan had been telling me. I had been listening to myself instead of preaching the Word and following that. I had been assuming the worst and going with it. I had been assuming the outcomes of situations before they happened and went with it. I had been seeking people and been let down, leaving me to believe I was unimportant. For months, I believed the lies that dragged me into a pit of self-destruction. I built up a wall to shield me from being hurt anymore because I was confused why people I thought were my friends would hurt me and still want to be around me. I had that wall there to shield others from the guilt I felt from my sins. I had that wall up because I didn't want my bitterness to rub off on others.

I had been trying to seek consistency with my friends because the feeling of hurt was something I didn't want to deal with. I never thought that friendship involved hurting each other, unintentionally. But my friend had to tell me that "real" friends WILL hurt you, but not with intention. They may not realize it, but they don't mean it.

I had been hurt by reaching out and feeling shot down by others. I felt unimportant and as if I was elastic. People could stretch me out and use me any way they wanted. My friend had to tell me that when it comes to caring for one another, people suck at it. They care, they just aren't always so great at communicating it.

I had also been falling into the temptation of procrastination (didn't realize that until that evening). I had been putting off forgiving others until I felt better. I had been putting off confronting others about things because I was afraid of being hurt. I had been pulling away from the Word because I felt the burden of guilt.

All of these things had been causing me to spiral into a deep period of seclusion. I thought no one cared because no one reached out to me, but I had been shutting myself out to the point that no one knew. And when they did find out, I felt pity. I was in a place where I couldn't sense real kindness; I saw it as something they felt they had to do... But I very quickly came to my senses that it was me who was believing these things and the truth was "that they actually cared." 

Since then, things are patched up, people have opened up, and the bitterness has gone away. The Lord worked that conversation with my friend to show me what life I had been living for the last few months. It explained why I wanted to run to nature and never come back. It explained why I thought people didn't want to be around me. It explains why I felt so alone. But it also showed me that my faith needed nourishment and growth. I needed to invest more time in the Word so that if another low point happens, I can preach the truth to myself instead of believing the lies. I had allowed my feelings to control me instead of the truth. When I allow the truth to control me, the feelings will follow. 

"Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. " 
James 1:21 

“But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall. ” 
Matthew 7:24-27

Without the Word of God as our foundation, we will fail. It makes it too easy to believe the lies and fall away on our faith. We will sink and fall. But we have a God who saves us which should encourage us all the more to get in the Word and live it out! We serve a God who doesn't hate us or judge us because we reject and fall away in dark times. He loves us and will pick us back up! We serve a God who wants nothing more than for us to love Him the best we can and to constantly seek Him out and reject sin!

So, reject sin and seek out the Lord fully with your whole heart. 

Until next time fellow readers...

Looking Into The Mirror (Pt. 1)

Everyday at some point I look in the mirror at myself. I look to fix my hair, shave my face, brush my teeth, or just look at how tired I am. Recently I realized I hate looking at the mirror because it has become a reflection not only of myself and how I look, but also my inner self.

Over the last few weeks, I have been going through ups and downs with stress, school, and my personal life. Looking into the mirror started reflecting what I was going through. It showed on my face. It showed the person who tried to put on a mask that everything is fine and that I am just busy. It showed a person who has secret struggles, but refuses to admit it. It showed the strain of seclusion to avoid being honest about life. It showed the hurt and confusion from betrayal. It showed and went right through me; I could no longer look past it.

I have been trying to find ways to avoid looking at the mirror. To avoid being vulnerable. To avoid seeing the truth that is apparent. I want to act like nothing has been wrong; that my life hasn't been struggling. I know my inner self and know that I am not like that, but I try to shake it off because dealing with it would mean being vulnerable. I push people away and hide to avoid the notice that something is wrong. I stay busy so I don't have to stop and think and get caught up in the tangle of thoughts. I just want to run and leave my life behind.

 

I know that as a Christian this isn't ok. I am supposed to tell others so that we carry each other and push each other towards the Word and towards Christ. I knew it, and yet I didn't want to do it. I wanted to keep running because weeks had past and hiding it had become routine and too easy. All I had to do was say "I'm fine."

 

Those two words hid so much and I was the only one who knew, so I thought...

 

(Pt. 2 Later this week so stay tuned)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Divine Nature

Good evening fellow readers,

I wanted to take time to talk about nature once again because it is so relevant to our lives. Nature is peaceful and has such divine beauty. Nature is a place where you can escape the world and be still. Nature isn't human. It doesn't have feelings and so it can't hurt you like a human can.

"Nature is just there and doesn't give a shit about you. Nature does what nature wants,"
-quote by a great friend-

Nature is a place God made for people to unwind and reset their feelings. A place where people can escape the world to be refocused on Him and His power and grace. Nature allows us to stand in awe of Him and say that we have an awesome God with such power and imagination.

I went to this crazy amazing place called Max Patch, which is just right over the North Carolina border. I have been about 5 times and every time, the scenery is so breathtaking and overwhelming. I forget about my hectic life, my problems, my worries and completely forget about myself. It is crazy to say that because you may think, "How can you just forget about yourself," but if you have ever been to a place where the scene is just too much and you try to take it all in at once... then you know what I'm talking about.

 

Nehemiah 9:6 You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you

Psalm 104:24 - O LORD, how manifold are your works! In wisdom has thou made them all: the earth is full of your riches.

 

Job 12:10 - In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.

 

God is so good to have created such a place like this. If you ever get the chance to visit this place, you need to GO!

 

The world is so damaged by our sin and in that God still creates beauty to remind us of who He is. Nature is so important because it is one of the ways God uses to communicate with us and there is so much thought and detail put into it because nothing God creates is ever the same. We can forget about the ugliness of the world that plagues us. It is so easy to feel lost and hopeless, but nature gives us some sense of hope. Nature is the handwriting of God and it just shows his love and grace for us in a world filled with so much sin.

 

True Forgiveness

Good morning fellow readers,

This post to me is something really important because it's something we all struggle with; forgiveness. Most people say that forgiveness is just apologizing for a wrong and it's all good from then on. That is how most people view it, including me for so long. But forgiveness... true forgiveness is to understand that as Christians we are all sinners and that we are no better or worse than each other. Unforgiveness binds us and puts a wall up between not only us and the person who hurt us, but also between us and God. Unforgiveness occurs when we turn our eyes away from God and turn them on ourselves.

For the last few weeks I have been struggling with a lot in my personal life. I have struggled with living in a world of so much sin and being surrounded by so much stuff that bothers me. I am bothered by people in my life that hurt me and don't understand me. I am bothered by the lack of kindness I see in those I care about, and how people go around hurting each other. I am bothered by a lot of things people have done to hurt me and how saying "sorry" should heal everything and life should go back to normal.

As humans, we want to hold it against them or get revenge... It's unfair. We hate being vulnerable and hurt.

I have been going through a low point in my life where I have been holding in those feelings and holding grudges and not being happy. I have held others to standards in which I should know they are going to fail anyways because no one is perfect; we are all sinners. I had to be reminded that as sinners, our hearts are not perfect and that we don't always do the right thing and love each other. We don't always treat each other with the right amount of respect. As we do that to each other, we also do that to God.

Jesus Christ is the one person who understands this and even more than we humans do. He forgave those who mocked him and beat him and put him to death. He died for the sins they committed, including all of ours before we were even born. He never held anger or resentment against them; he loved them just like he loves us. He understands hurt and brokenness so he can feel our pain. With that being said, we should follow His example. He sacrificed His life for us so that we could be forgiven and free from things like this. We are His children and as His children, we are free from the kind of stuff that entraps us. We should be filled with joy and love for others and be solely focused on God and forgive others so we can be free from bitterness, anger, hatred, and sin.

Forgiveness isn't easy and also can be a slow process. It is a conscious decision and we must have faith that God will work in our hearts so we can forgive. We may not understand and feel the need to right the wrong ourselves, but that is not our place to do that. We don't have to talk to the person again or trust them with our lives, but we have to let go and not hold it against them anymore. We can't change the past so why live in it? Forgiveness gives us the freedom to be happy and no longer carry that burden. Only when we feel free from that have we truly forgiven someone.

Always remember what Christ did on the cross so that we could be forgiven. And in return, we can understand why we should forgive others.

Standing Firm in Faith

Good afternoon fellow readers,

It has been a while since I have posted something, but recently something has been on my mind and I felt the need to write about it.

Recently I had someone tell me that I wasn't allowed to use bible verses because they didn't want to hear it and because its become something people always do. Throw verses around or talk about their life and use bible verses to talk about it. In a way I felt kind of offended. One, because I don't just throw around verses. And two, I felt hurt to be rejected of talking about something I am passionate about; my faith. I know I haven't been a Christian for long, but throughout the last few months, my life has had ups and downs and I have struggled to lean on God and seek him throughout it all. I struggled with the weight of my sin and was relying so much on wanting acceptance of others. But coming back to school for my third year my eyes have been opened to new perspectives.

Do I still struggle with wanting to be around people and to feel accepted... yeah, but realizing my worth in Christ and not others has been the most important thing for me. Having a conversation about grace and the Lord's love for us changed everything for me when I was struggling with my own sin. I have realized more and more within the last few weeks about my own faith and who Christ is. I have grasped a new understanding of His love for me and how He should be the only one I should seek. The feeling of how I am so small compared to everything else in the universe and how even when I run from Him, He is still there when I come running back to Him. Realizing that there is nothing I can do to scare Him away. Realizing that His love for me is infinite, with no limits... That is the best feeling ever.

No one else in the world can give me that. No one else can be there waiting for me when I wake up or when I feel alone and helpless. No one can be there to comfort me all the times I am upset or see all the times I am happy. No one can be there all the times I need to be disciplined for making mistakes... Only He can do that for me!

Realizing that He is only one who can do everything that I cannot, it makes me appreciate Him more and love Him more. I want to run to the rooftops and scream His name and tell everyone how good He is and how much I don't deserve Him... That is why it upset me to be told that basically I cannot share something that means something to me. I didn't become a Christian to stand back and say nothing. I didn't become a Christian to stay in my comfort zone. I became a Christian because I believe that we are all sinners and we are separated from Him. We have rejected Him and should have no hope, but He loves us enough that He sent His son to die for us so that we could have hope. Something unimaginable and unexplainable yet so amazing. He died so that we could know Him, and instead of having no hope and have death, He could cleanse our hearts and give us life. I understand that people will willingly reject the gospel and not want to listen. I respect peoples' beliefs, whether I agree or not, but I will not stand down to just comply with someone else so they don't have to listen to it. I am not forcing my religion on you. You can listen or walk away. I have freedom of speech and for me, it's my life. Living as a Christian is my life. Everyday, every moment.

1 Corinthians 16:13 says; "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous, be strong."

I found this verse the other day and it really helped my soul because so many people can stand down or fall into temptations when things get hard. They can go quiet when they are rejected or feel as if anything they say can have a negative impact. I have felt this way for so long but for the first time I felt so proud to say that Christ is my Savior and I will not stand down. I will stand for Christ! I felt so much joy and strength in standing strong for the one who died for me. It saddens me to see people knowingly reject Christ and to refuse to listen and it can make it easy to get discouraged. We want to share the gospel and open peoples eyes and hearts, but we can only plant the seed. We cannot force it to happen. That's why I stand strong for this. Who knows whether or not the next thing I say can be the one thing needed to help them? If we stand down, how are we being the light to shine and spread the gospel? How are we being followers... Don't we know that as Christians this is to be expected? Why are we surprised?

It definitely isn't easy in a world that is broken, but it's to be expected and is worth it. Do what God has called you to do. Be extraordinary followers and be the light in a dark world.

Summertime Bloomings

Good evening fellow readers,

I know one of my posts earlier was about nature and photography while trying to capture God's beauty in it. I wanted to make another post about nature, but this time more about flowers. I stepped outside this morning with my mom onto our porch and all of our flowers surrounding the porch had finally bloomed and WOW were they beautiful! I had not expected them to be the way they were because we have had little rain and it has been so hot and humid lately. It was if the heat had done nothing to them... It made me just stop and look at them all because they were all different flowers and colors. So bright and fully bloomed. I just had to stop, take some pictures, thank God for that moment of stepping away from my life and my busy morning and to just stop and look at something different. To just stop thinking about myself for a moment and be reminded of God's power, amazing detail, and creativity in the world; with even things as small as flowers. 

I read a quote this morning that said, "Earth laughs in flowers."  -Ralph Waldo Emerson-

I really think this is God's way of smiling, laughing, and especially happiness. What amazing things He can do! To make us stop and widen our eyes because we are so used to our eyes being so strained from looking at the world so long. Seeing something different, something that catches our eye and makes us stop for a second. Those are the best moments, when we connect with God and he shows us something new. Flowers today was certainly the way for me. I just couldn't get over how different, small, and vibrant they were, so here are some pictures!